However, once his reflux got under control in November, I knew there was still something different with Noah. After hours of googling, I figured out Noah is a high needs baby. According to Dr. Sears, there are 12 characteristics of a high need baby and they are as followed:
1. Intense
Everything about Noah is intense; when he cries, it's not just a whimper. It is a full on "I'm being murdered" scream. If we don't respond immediately, Noah completely falls apart.
2. Hyperactive
Noah can't just snuggle in or lie next to use. He kicks, arches his back, and seems to never be able to just be still (unless you're bouncing him on the exercise ball).
3. Draining
Poor Nick said it spot on "we don't ever get one second to ourselves." I know that most babies are very demanding but high needs babies top them all it seems from our experience and the boards/forums I read. Noah has to be constantly held and interacted with. I've learned to do many house hold chores with one hand and go to the restroom very quickly!
4. Feeds frequently
It's hard to keep up with making and cleaning bottles because Noah does want to eat so much. I believe a lot of his desire to feed so often stems from his reflux (it supposedly coats the throat and makes it feel better) and feeding him is the only way to sooth and calm him when going to bed or down for a catnap!
5. Demanding
Noah sure lets us know when something doesn't sit well with him. If he is hungry, we know. If he's sick of the swing, we know. And we know we have to be in sight of him at all times...or we will definitely hear!
6. Awakes Frequently
As you know from my previous posts, Noah usually naps for a whole 30-60 minutes. We had 3 weeks of heaven in November where Noah slept like an angel at night but for weeks now, he wakes up every 30-60 minutes at night now. This makes for some interesting nights (especially because this is the only time Nick and I see each other during the week!).
7. Unsatisfied
Many babies liked to be rocked to sleep or are content being placed down next to their parents. Not our Noah. We have to bounce him vigorously on the ball then attempt to set him down in his Rock N Play at night. This usually takes about 10 times until he is completely passed out (for 30 minutes)!
8. Unpredictable
There is no such thing as a routine with Noah. During the day with Sari babysitting, it's better but when she goes back to school, it will not be pretty! It probably doesn't help that we work somewhat opposite shifts and don't parent the same way!
9. Super Sensitive
Noah is extremely sensitive to everything; sunlight, the cold, noise, lights, etc. We literally crawl out of his room so we don't risk waking him by standing up to leave!
10. Can't Put Baby Down
This is pretty self explanatory but we can't put Noah down and if we do, we better be talking to him and interacting with him. I read that some parents of high needs babies call their babies "Velcro babies" because they're literally attached to you 24/7!
11. Not a self soother
Our doctor told us we need to start letting Noah cry for 10 minutes before picking him up because he has learned to manipulate us. At first I believed her but then I starting reflecting on this and have come to realize I will not be doing this! We let Noah cry for 15 minutes once and I will never do it again. His reflux got much worse because crying aggravates the reflux and it was obvious he would not stop crying. His cries start at a level 10 and stay there...they don't die down like many babies' do! (Sorry for the long story)
As mentioned many times before, Noah can't just soothe himself to sleep or simply relax. He needs help relaxing and falling asleep...which is why we bounce him to sleep everyday and night!
12. Separation Sensitive
So far we have not observed Noah to be sensitive about leaving us. As long as someone is holding him and interacting with him, he is content!
So there you have it...a little description of our high needs Velcro baby! He is the light of our life and even though he is exhausting and we don't get anything accomplished, we wouldn't change him for an "easy baby." It has helped me tremendously to read other mom and dad's stories about their high needs babies. My favorite high needs baby book is "The Fussy Baby Book; Parenting the high needs baby" by Dr. Sears. My favorite website and Facebook page is "The Fussy Baby Site." These two resources have helped me to understand Noah's needs and a more positive spin on having a high needs baby!
Everything about Noah is intense; when he cries, it's not just a whimper. It is a full on "I'm being murdered" scream. If we don't respond immediately, Noah completely falls apart.
2. Hyperactive
Noah can't just snuggle in or lie next to use. He kicks, arches his back, and seems to never be able to just be still (unless you're bouncing him on the exercise ball).
3. Draining
Poor Nick said it spot on "we don't ever get one second to ourselves." I know that most babies are very demanding but high needs babies top them all it seems from our experience and the boards/forums I read. Noah has to be constantly held and interacted with. I've learned to do many house hold chores with one hand and go to the restroom very quickly!
4. Feeds frequently
It's hard to keep up with making and cleaning bottles because Noah does want to eat so much. I believe a lot of his desire to feed so often stems from his reflux (it supposedly coats the throat and makes it feel better) and feeding him is the only way to sooth and calm him when going to bed or down for a catnap!
5. Demanding
Noah sure lets us know when something doesn't sit well with him. If he is hungry, we know. If he's sick of the swing, we know. And we know we have to be in sight of him at all times...or we will definitely hear!
6. Awakes Frequently
As you know from my previous posts, Noah usually naps for a whole 30-60 minutes. We had 3 weeks of heaven in November where Noah slept like an angel at night but for weeks now, he wakes up every 30-60 minutes at night now. This makes for some interesting nights (especially because this is the only time Nick and I see each other during the week!).
7. Unsatisfied
Many babies liked to be rocked to sleep or are content being placed down next to their parents. Not our Noah. We have to bounce him vigorously on the ball then attempt to set him down in his Rock N Play at night. This usually takes about 10 times until he is completely passed out (for 30 minutes)!
8. Unpredictable
There is no such thing as a routine with Noah. During the day with Sari babysitting, it's better but when she goes back to school, it will not be pretty! It probably doesn't help that we work somewhat opposite shifts and don't parent the same way!
9. Super Sensitive
Noah is extremely sensitive to everything; sunlight, the cold, noise, lights, etc. We literally crawl out of his room so we don't risk waking him by standing up to leave!
10. Can't Put Baby Down
This is pretty self explanatory but we can't put Noah down and if we do, we better be talking to him and interacting with him. I read that some parents of high needs babies call their babies "Velcro babies" because they're literally attached to you 24/7!
11. Not a self soother
Our doctor told us we need to start letting Noah cry for 10 minutes before picking him up because he has learned to manipulate us. At first I believed her but then I starting reflecting on this and have come to realize I will not be doing this! We let Noah cry for 15 minutes once and I will never do it again. His reflux got much worse because crying aggravates the reflux and it was obvious he would not stop crying. His cries start at a level 10 and stay there...they don't die down like many babies' do! (Sorry for the long story)
As mentioned many times before, Noah can't just soothe himself to sleep or simply relax. He needs help relaxing and falling asleep...which is why we bounce him to sleep everyday and night!
12. Separation Sensitive
So far we have not observed Noah to be sensitive about leaving us. As long as someone is holding him and interacting with him, he is content!
So there you have it...a little description of our high needs Velcro baby! He is the light of our life and even though he is exhausting and we don't get anything accomplished, we wouldn't change him for an "easy baby." It has helped me tremendously to read other mom and dad's stories about their high needs babies. My favorite high needs baby book is "The Fussy Baby Book; Parenting the high needs baby" by Dr. Sears. My favorite website and Facebook page is "The Fussy Baby Site." These two resources have helped me to understand Noah's needs and a more positive spin on having a high needs baby!
Sari learning Noah's bounce to sleep routine :)
Noah napping on daddy
